25 August 2020 – An Anniversary

Two years ago today was the last time I had any alcohol. Unless you count my 0.5% cider last weekend! I wouldn’t say that I was anywhere near alcoholic but I have never had the best relationship with alcohol.

I recently found a folder of artwork from when I was at school. In there was a self portrait that I did when I was in Year 9. In the centre of the picture was a bottle of MD 20/20 (I think a lot of people who were youngsters in the ’90’s will recognise this!). I was 13! The same age that my son is now…

Speaking to people of a similar age to me, this was quite “normal” back then. My friends would all meet up and drink cheap cider while sat on the local park each weekend. This is just what we did.

However, I was never very good at knowing when enough was enough. My mental health was fragile (to say the least) after my brother died when I was eleven and my grandfather the year after. Add to that the alcohol and it was a recipe for depressive binge drinking for the next 25 years!

After a couple of breakdowns, and a lot of counselling, I made the decision to cut out my alcohol intake. I never planned for it to be an ongoing thing; I originally thought I may just have a couple of weeks, maybe months, off and see how I feel. As it is, I feel great!

For the first time in my adult life, I feel in control and incredibly strong of mind. I don’t wake up at the weekend terrified of who I may have offended the night before. It was such a habit to ask my husband if I’d upset him, it was getting quite ridiculous. It’s good to wake up fresh (hangover free!) to be alert and able to take my children to football or rugby without a concern.

With the positives strongly outweighing the negatives, I doubt I’ll ever have a drink again.

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