Back in 2016, Clare’s husband was deployed overseas with work for six months and it was trickier than they expected! It all happened quite quickly (which may have been a blessing) and they told themselves that it would all be fine, they were used to Daddy being out before they woke and coming home after bedtime. This belief led them to completely and utterly underestimate the impact this would have on the children!
Clare thought everything was fine and then, one day, all seemed not to be fine. Her eldest (then 9) was getting teary over very little things and the youngest (then 6)
wasn’t wanting to go to school. It was all very out of the ordinary. Luckily, Clare had a chance meeting with an educational psychologist who gave some ideas to try with the children. She was amazed at the difference just a couple of simple tricks could make.
Wanting to share her experience, in a way that would help others, she decided to write Sometimes. It is written for the child and will be something they can treasure for a long time. It incorporates the ideas that were given to Clare that proved to be so successful. There are also parts that Clare’s own children helped write. The “special teddy” was from her eldest’s influence. As was the “not knowing what to say”. It was all, very much, a joint effort that they hope will help other families in their position through their family deployment too.
The Emotional Cycle of Deployment
The “Cycle of Deployment”, as it is more commonly known, was first written about back in 1987 by a female author named Kathleen Vestal Logan.
“I wrote an article “The Emotional Cycle of Deployment” which was published in Naval Institute Proceedings in 1987. Doing the research required that I meet
with many navy wives’ groups; then, once the article was published, I was invited to speak to many more groups, which often included husbands, as well.
Having a positive impact on people’s ability to cope productively with separations propelled me past my fears. The article continues to be used throughout the
military services and has been translated into several foreign language. It’s very satisfying to have created something of lasting value to people.”
As mentioned, most military services use this “Cycle of Deployment” and a quick internet search will give you greater detail and information.
As an alternative, I have been to a number of conferences led by groups of people whose only aim is to help service children in school and beyond. One such
organisation is The Service Children’s Progression (SCiP) Alliance.
Their website has a wealth of information on there and is worth a look around to see the amazing work they are doing. Within their resources pages, there is a copy of the Naval Families Federation’s take on the Cycle of Deployment. It is very well put together and packed full of information and guidance.
This book is designed to help children who are experiencing Daddy being away from home. It subtly deals with the conflicting emotions that can arise and offers ideas that could help. With areas for the child to express their own thoughts and feelings, it is truly one of a kind.